The difference between liking ourselves and loving ourselves…and why that matters for cultivating confidence.

Andrew Horn
1 min readSep 14, 2022


Over the past year, one of the questions I’ve found myself asking people has been…

“Do you like yourself”

I’d then ask them “why?”

I noticed that many would respond with something along the lines of ”I don’t just like myself, I love myself.”

This made me curious. I’d then ask people to distinguish between the two.

In their responses, a subtle difference would always emerge in the felt experience of liking vs. loving themselves.

After hundred of answers, the nuance became clear to me…

I like myself because of HOW I am.

I love myself because of WHO I am.

Liking ourselves is based on the recognition of how we interact with our external reality.

For example; we might like ourselves because of how we relate, communicate, act and contribute etc.

Loving ourselves is based on who we know ourselves to be. It is an internal recognition of the self.

For example; We might love ourselves because of our internally held values and morals or a belief that we are love itself, and part of the divine unity of all things.

One of my favorite ways to describe confidence is that it is simply liking ourselves and telling the truth.

It is both a belief, and an action.

The belief makes the action much easier.

So, do you like yourself?




Andrew Horn

Founder // - Spreading gratitude and meaningful human connection in the world — prev. @dreamsforkidsdc and @abilitylist.